It was a terrific idea.
Well, it didn’t happen.
I got home too late and missed the whole red carpet. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Either way, I blew my assignment. (Although on a side note, I was tempted to have Moye draw up another one of these petitions for Usher, who inexcusably was rocking dark shades indoors. Get over yourself, you dick.)
So where am I going with this?. . .Oh, right. . . We are all very excited about the early returns on the petition. We’re at 150 and counting. But unfortunately that’s not going to cut it, folks. We’re taking on a monster here. We need to hit at least 10 grand. The Oscars are five weeks away. There’s still time.
Now do your duty as citizens of this world. Donate to UNICEF and sign this goddamn petition.
– Jim Galasso