I’m slow. Behind the times. So yesterday. While everyone is talking about the Tyra screamfest last night, I was busy watching American Idol. Does anyone still follow that show? It’s my first season, so you’ll have to forgive me. I never watched it before. I thought I was above it.
But now I’m doing a new thing. I’m trying not to be judgmental. You can do that when you live in a world of TiVo. You don’t have to be as selective. It’s all out there and it’s all fair game. I even watched an episode of Chasing Farrah. See, no judging.
Back to Idol. I don’t have a favorite. Other than Simon. He’s really funny. I mean he tells people to their face that they are horrible. Not just horrible performers, but horrible human beings. It’s goddamn priceless.
The other two idiots I could care less about. Paula’s face is completely frozen and I don’t think it’s because of the Botox. I think she is constantly reminded that she is the luckiest moron in the world to have stumbled onto this gravy train and can’t wipe the smile off her face because of it. And Randy. Oh lord. To me, a giant black man shouldn’t say “Dog, you totally rocked, dude” to a 17-year-old white girl who just sang “Oklahoma.” It’s just not natural.
As for the competitors, I’m not really sure who I’m pulling for. Scott’s pretty good. Anyone who pulls out “Against All Odds” – twice! – is alright in my book. I mean how can you not love that song? “Take a look at me now/I’m just an empty face/And when I see you/I know that/It’s what I have to chase/So take a look at me now!” I’ve been trying to buy it on iTunes all day, but mine is busted (Tommy, can you take a look at it?).
The moral of this story. Don’t judge, because you never know who’s going to bring the wonderful gift of Phil Collins back into your life.
– Jim Galasso