“I’ve got a rocket in my pocket.” – My buddy Gregg
“I saw boobies. Big fake boobies!” – My cousin Tim
“It’s the Spider-Man II of insightful porn documentaries.” – My online chat buddy, spideysenses4193
“That thing Harry Reems has is enormous. I mean look at the size of that thing. It’s so gigantic. But why’d he shave it off?” – Chris McKim
“I liked when the T-Rex ate all the aliens.” – My four year old neighbor, Billy, who I told I was working on Jurassic Park 4: Dinos in Space
“Yes, I get the joke. You’ve said it everyday for the past three weeks. Now seriously, would you like a six-inch or a footlong.” – Sandwich artist Miguel from Subway
“Shameful. Disgusting. Ungodly. (Whisper) When does it come out on DVD?” – Father Thomas McGinley
“That Gerard Damiano is one sharp dresser.” – Me
“Will Smith has done it again! Undeniably charming!” – Moye Ishimoto
“Run! Run now! Run as far away from that place as you can.” – My mom
– Jim Galasso