Each year, hoping to win an Emmy, TV shows send out elaborate “For Your Consideration” packages to Emmy voters, packages designed as superficial simulacrums, clever swag that’s seductive enough to garner your vote without having to reinvolve you in the program. And each year, Emmy voter Randy Barbato considers the Consideration packages as they arrive at his office and gives each their own special award – the prestigious WOWie. We begin:

And the THOU SHALL NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S MINI SERIES Wowie goes to… THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. This package also wins the award for heaviest, weighing in at about five pounds! Strangely, the network ID is barely legible and hidden in the bottom corner, suggesting the production company and network might not be good buddies (or perhaps the network wants to avoid showcasing a Christian epic).

And the WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DAVE CHAPPELLE Wowie goes to… EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS. It’s interesting that the young, pint-size Chris Rock character should be featured on a milk carton, when it was Dave Chappelle who famously went missing that time.

Stay tuned for more awards.