The site is called Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids, and it sells poop, urine, bacteria, and skin cells harvested mostly by the personal assistants of a nice cross-section of famous people, from Debbie Reynolds to Sarah Vowell, Don Rickles to Conor Oberst, Matt Groening to Mike Tyson, Norman Mailer to Flea, Chris Matthews to Data from The Goonies. Unfortunately, if you’re hoping for a slice of poop from either Tom Green or Luke Perry, you’re out of luck ’cause they’re out of stock. But there are plenty of Sarah Jessica Parker’s skin cells available (which surprises us, actually).

Where do you get your samples from?

We obtain the vast majority of our specimens from an extensive network of trustworthy suppliers, who in their dealings with entertainment and hospitality services, come into contact with celebrities on a day-to-day basis. On occasion we purchase quality specimens from private sellers. Regardless of where the specimens come from, we make certain that all specimens obtained go through the same rigorous testing process (see question 2).

How do you/I know these specimens are from the listed celebrity?

All our specimens are tested by experienced body-fluid identification technicians at the Allamas Biological Research Facility in Greeley Colorado and cross-referenced hospital birth records and blood analysis from the intolerancelab. As a last resort, we will attempt to verify our specimens by comparing our test results to various body-fluid tests conducted during periods of the individual’s incarceration, if available. Each specimen comes with a certificate of authenticity. We ensure our customers will receive a quality product.