“You cannot petition the Lord with prayer.” Jim Morrison said that. And amen to that. But the bible-thumping Star Jones petitions the Lord daily. For merchandise. Well, we can petition ABC to stop Star Jones. Forever. Look, just because the site has moved on to another page and the Golden Globes are but a fuzzy memory, it doesn’t mean that the petition to end the nightmare that is Star is not still itching for your attention. Here it is once more, with only a paltry 183 signatures. Come on, the petition attempting to rid the world of Ashlee Simpson has a whopping 10,000-plus, and she’s not nearly as loathsome. So, won’t you help? Sign the damn thing.

Oh, and when Al Reynolds tells his pals that the earth moved last night, he just means that Star turned over in her sleep.