A.J. and his Dad that summer of ’74
In the spring of 1974, A.J. Benza‘s father, a former narcotics cop got a phone call. His brother was distraught because he was sure that his 10-year-old son was exhibiting signs of homosexuality. He asked if A.J.’s cousin could spend the summer in West Islip, hoping some testosterone in the household would set him “straight”. A.J. is a colorful character himself –a former sports writer for Newsday, gossip columnist for the Daily News, frequent Howard Stern Show guest and host of Mysteries and Scandals, and A. J. After Hours, a late-night talk show. Saturday, we had a little chat about his surprisingly touching new book, 74 and Sunny, family and how much that summer of ’74 changed him.
Well, congrats on the book. It’s a great summer read. I swear, the day I started reading it, it was actually 74 and sunny in New York. It’s a really good story, but why did you decide to make it into a book…? Did having kids of your own have anything to do with it?
I was blessed to have a father who made a lot of ordinary days into extraordinary situations. It was always eating at me to turn at least one of my father’s exploits into a book. He deserved it. He deserved to live on forever, whether it’s up on a library shelf or up there in the cloud.
And yes, having kids helped. I wrote this book at the same age my father was in “74 and Sunny”. And I started to understand and really grasp the struggles a father goes through. In his era he couldn’t go cry with a buddy on Facebook. He just had to dig it out and stay strong.
True. Are you watching “I Am Cait”? I was thinking that if “Sunny” took place today, the topical issue of the day would be transgender kids. How do you think you would you deal with one of your kids either being gay or trans?
Well, it certainly wouldn’t be televised if my kids were gay or transgender. I root for “I Am Cait” to succeed, but I think it’s losing its way. I always say if I were gay, you’d be able to spot me from a helicopter! There’d be no hiding anything for me. And my kids are fully aware about the LGBT conversation. My daughter has a friend who’s gay and that helped her understand my book… and she’s only 11. Then, one day my 7-year old son sees me watching “I Am Cait” and he very calmly says… ‘Oh, I have a transgender boy in my school. He’s really a boy but he dresses as a girl and we call him Molly.’ It was like no big deal. That’s why I think this next generation will make everything easier for everyone suffering or stressing or hiding their true selves…
And if my kids were gay….I wouldn’t give a shit. A parent only wants one thing – for their kids to be happy. Shit, I’d still teach him a home run swing or a good jump shot. Other than that, if anybody had a problem with it – they’d have to deal with me.
That’s amazing. I feel the same about kids today… and then I make the mistake of reading the comments section and I worry about the parents more than the kids…
The generation before us still says “n*gger” or “fag” or “spic” without a problem. We’re a young, stupid country in a lot of ways. But it’ll go away soon.
This seems like a great story for a movie? Have you thought of that or did you think of it cinematically while writing it?
I saw the movie as I wrote it. Hell….I always see the movie in everything I write. But this story especiall HAS to be a film. I’ve taken some good meetings with producers. I have no doubt it will be a film one day. Yesterday I went ahead and called Bobby Cannavale and Debi Mazar’s manager and said, “Look…trust me. They can play my mom and dad in their sleep. Have them read this book. There’s an Oscar for Bobby in this.” I really believe that.
Great casting! I can see it too. I knew Debi back in the day…
I have known her for years. Great chick.
Debi and I were supposed to go on a date one night. The last minute she reluctantly cancelled and said she had to meet a friend’s friend who was visiting from Italy. Well….she ended up marrying him and now they have two kids and a TV show. Fate is amazing…
But now she can be your Mom, so…
Everything happens for a reason.
Exactly. You know, I WAS your cousin –growing up gay in 70s Texas– so I know what that’s like… I’m not finished with the book yet, but I’m really into it…
A lot of my gay friends tell me that same thing. And I’m thrilled by that.
I grew up thinking it was genuine to my family alone and then I find out there were an awful lot of these stories.
I have friends who aren’t in show business and when I tell them stories about having a gay agent or gay manager or gay producer, etc…. they can’t grasp it. I guess in the fields I work in, it’s very evident and accepting. But maybe not so much over at the bank or accounting firm. Why? I have no idea. But it sucks. And heterosexual guys would shit if they only knew the Playboy magazines they are jerking off to are because… a gay designer dressed the girl, a gay makeup artist made her more beautiful and a gay guy was positioning her for the shoot!
Fran Lebowitz said years ago; “If you take everything gay out of American culture, you’re pretty much left with “Let’s Make a Deal”…
Or worse. I’m just glad that I’m able to tell a great story about the wonderful people who raised me – who my kids will never meet. But those great traits are inside them too.
74 and Sunny is available on Amazon.
A.J. and his kids, Roxy and Rocco, with Daddy “at work”
