I watched Arachnoquake on SyFy Saturday night, and I am ashamed to say I kind of enjoyed it. It’s the oft-told tale of giant, fire-breathing, blind albino spiders who escape from their underground caverns and terrorize New Orleans after fracking causes an earthquake. It stars a greasy, bloated homeless guy who the opening credits inform us used to be Eddie Furlong, but I don’t buy it. This guy looks like he has armpit mushrooms growing under his shirt, he’s that filthy and disgusting. The biggest shock, though, is that in it he plays the FATHER of two teenagers. THE FATHER. Eddie Furlong is THE FATHER OF TEENAGERS. Where has the time gone? How is that possible? Watch the video and prepare to be shocked at his appearance. And yes, that’s Tracy Gold from Growing Pains as his asthmatic wife. Really brilliant stuff. Emmys all ’round.