Emeralds the Size of Quail Eggs: Inside the Golden Wedding of the Sultan of Brunei’s Son

Of course, I shouldn’t be posting anything to do with the Sultan of Brunei. We all know he’s a barbarian and a monster and that Brunei’s adoption of Sharia Islamic law (which means gay men can be stoned to death) is positively Draconian and drags the entire region back to the Middle Ages. BUT. When his son, Prince Abdul Malik, 31, exchanged vows with Dayangku Raabi’atul ‘Adawiyyah Pengiran Haji Bolkiah, 22, the other day – well, THE SPLENDOR. THE OPULENCE. THE GRANDEUR. It was GOBSMACKING.

Just a few of the mind-boggling details:

The newlyweds’ matching gold outfits were both embellished with diamonds, while blushing bride Raabi’atul carried a bouquet made of dazzling gems, rather than flowers.

The 22-year-old bride, who worked as a systems data analyst and IT instructor, sported a breathtaking diamond tiara studded with six teardrop-shaped emeralds.

A diamond necklace with a central pendant of three emeralds the size of grapes, glittered around her neck, while a matching brooch of two egg-shaped emeralds dangled from a diamond setting.

Dayangku Raabi’atul ‘Adawiyyah Pengiran Haji Bolkiah also toted Christian Louboutin heels encrusted Swarovski crystals, with the distinctive red sole, as well as a chunky gold anklet.

Horrible, horrible people. And such lavish displays of wealth are positively grotesque in today’s world. (But I’m still fascinated, I’m sorry. And WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE to choke one of those egg-sized emeralds.)

The emeralds:

The diamond bouquet:

The bejeweled Jimmy Choos:

And for the next day’s ceremonies, RUBIES instead of emeralds. (“The newest member of the royal family changed into a beaded purple gown for the wedding banquet. She wore a bedazzled veil, along with a stunning diamond necklace set with tens of rubies, and a matching crown set with a scarlet gem the size of a 20-pence piece”):