Dirty-minded queens get excited over Anderson Cooper oil spill coverage

There’s very little Anderson Cooper can do that DOESN’T make us think of sex. But when he pulls a finger out of the water covered in brown sludge… WHAT? I’M NOT THE ONE WHO WENT THERE! It’s the guys over at Queerty who suggest that it looks like Stink Finger. They also count “at least six phallic symbols, from vacuums to hoses” in this 360 report from the other night, and apparently got ALL excited when Governor Bobby Jindal demonstrated his sucking technique. Um, ew. And while I understand that watching the oil spill coverage is difficult and painful and sometimes you just have to find something else to think about so you don’t get sucked into a depression, rest assured: Anderson is NOT secretly sending you sex messages in his reporting. No really. He’s not coming out via a Bobby Jindal interview. Not gonna happen, guys.