John Lennon:

“I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumors went around that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship. It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me that it was his first time using strap ons. We had this holiday together because Cynthia was pregnant, and I went to Spain and there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys and I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know. Eppy just kept on and on at me, until one night, I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, here, just stick it up me fucking arse then’.”

“He said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do’. ‘Well’,  I said,  ‘what is it you like to do?’ and he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John’. And so I let him toss me off, and that was it… Yeah, so fucking what! He’s having a fucking hard time anyway. So what harm did it do, for fuck’s sake? No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can’t help the way he is.”

This Spanish holiday was dramatized in the excellent film The Hours And Times (1991), with David Angus as Epstein and Ian Hart as Lennon.

Epstein certainly led an interesting life. Born during the Depression, at 16 years old he started working in his parent’s Liverpool department store and realized he was born to be a salesman. His father promoted him to manager of the record department as the family business expanded.

In December 1961, Epstein started work at his most important job: Manager of The Beatles. After having seen the band play at a Liverpool club, young and hot in their leather jackets, smoking cigarettes and swearing on stage, he immediately decided the lads needed to change their image.

Re-imagining The Beatles’ look and stage personalities, Epstein purchased mod mohair suits for the boys, insisted on their signature haircuts and started to find them new gigs. He fired the drummer, Pete Best, so that he could be replaced by Richie Starkey. He pitched The Beatles to the various record labels, determined to get them signed to a recording contract. After being rejected by Decca, among other labels, he managed to get them signed with EMI and he lined up George Martin as their producer.

Initially, The Beatles weren’t completely confident or trustful of Epstein (they called him “Eppie”), but with his hard work and utter devotion he earned their respect and admiration.

It was no secret that Epstein was gay. In school he recalled being “ragged, nagged and bullied”. He dropped out when he turned 16. He was drafted into the British Army, but after 10 months he was discharged for being “mentally unfit” after being harassed and bullied again. Around this time, Epstein began enjoying the special company of other guys. In 1956 he was arrested for propositioning men in a subway lavatory, the victim of an undercover sting.  Epstein pleaded guilty, and was fined and released.

The Beatles always knew that Epstein was gay. Although he was professional and distinguished as a business man, his double life wasn’t always as private as he wanted it to be. There were relentless rumors that Epstein was in love with Lennon. Epstein was very attracted to Lennon’s talent, his wit and his good-looks. He was not able to look Lennon in the eye when speaking with him for fear he would reveal his secret. But actually, Lennon was completely aware of Epstein’s feelings and was sometimes teased by his mates about Epstein’s subtle attentions. The gossip began.

Epstein also managed Gerry And The Pacemakers and the late, great Cilla Black. He appeared on television shows and even hosted a regular spot on one of my favorite shows of the 1960s era, Hullabaloo.

As Beatlemania reached a fever, Epstein became less involved in the routine daily operations of the band. The Beatles Empire continued growing, but Epstein felt less secure about his future with them. His contract was due to expire and he feared it would not be renewed (he would remain their manager until his death). He began a downward spiral, becoming depressed and driven by drug addiction. He was drinking, gambling, taking LSD and popping pills. Epstein’s life became more than he could handle.

When The Beatles went to India to meet the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in August 1967, it was the first time they had gone anywhere without Epstein being in charge. He had seemed interested in what Maharishi had to offer, but it was a bank holiday weekend and he decided to spend it with friends.

In India, Paul McCartney, John, George Harrison and Ringo Starr received word that Epstein had died, disillusioned and alone, from a drug overdose. He was just 32 years old. All four Beatles were completely, utterly devastated. He had been their friend, their enabler, their hero. He was seen as irreplaceable. The shocked and stunned Beatles asked the Maharishi for his advice, and were told: “Being within the direct realm of the physical world, his death is not important”.

Shortly after Epstein’s passing, The Beatles underlying tensions and resentments began to surface. Lennon said it was the beginning of the end. Lennon:

“He was in love with me. It’s interesting and will make a nice Hollywood Babylon story someday about Brian Epstein’s sex life, but it’s irrelevant, absolutely irrelevant.”

Double Life/Double Fantasy, the secret was not buried with Brian Epstein. Male homosexual activity was illegal in Britain until September 1967, when it was decriminalized just one month after Epstein’s death.

The Bee Gees‘ 1968 song In The Summer of His Years is a tribute to Epstein.

If things had been different and he had been able to be here today, probably having just barely survived the murder of Lennon in 1980, a wealthy and happily openly gay Sir Brian Epstein might be celebrating his 85th birthday with his longtime husband (a Lennon lookalike), Sean and Yoko, Paul, Ringo, and their children and grandchildren.