Singing cartoon dimple David Archuleta has just returned from a two-year Mormon mission in Chile. Has it really been two years? Seems like yesterday he was sent on the religious journey to, presumably, pray the gay away. Anyway, he’s back, a little older, wearing an ill-fitting cheap suit, and sadly looking like the guy Andrea Zuckerman married on Beverly Hills 90210. But… why does he always seem like he’s about to burst into tears? Is it because he fell in love with a little migrant worker boy down in Chile? Whom he proselytized to every night? And it was the happiest he’s ever been? Now he’s back, living with his mean old father? I’m just guessing. But you know… I often think there’s A LOT to the David Archuleta story we don’t know. I think he’s kept in a dog cage and fed old banana peels and coffe grinds. I see it in his EYES. But that’s an investigative report for another day. For now, let’s just celebrate his return. Yes. My baby’s finally back. That’s all that matters. And it’s SO good to see him.
Via E! Online:
Archuleta left for his mission back in March 2012 after announcing he’d be taking a two-year hiatus from music to serve God. During his time in South America, Archuleta reportedly had almost no contact with his family back home in Utah.