Dinner with the parents. It’s great how such a simple event can change in significance, the older you get. First, it’s inevitable. You live with your parents, so they must feed you, and thus you must have dinner with them. Then you go away to college, and dinner with Mommy and Daddy means either you haven’t gone far enough from home yet, or it’s vacation time. Then later, dinner with your parents means you’re obliged to see those old people, because otherwise they think you don’t love them anymore. Luckily, I’m at the stage where dinner with my parents means free food (and free lunch the next day, if they give me their leftovers). Score! But I digress.

Last night, I took my parents to the only Italian restaurant within a five-mile radius of their house (I was hungry, OK?) which turned out to be Bella Cucina. Apparently it’s a D-list-celebrity place, where the “D” stands for “Douche.” Cause look, right in front of me was RYAN CABRERA, chatting to someone on his Sidekick. Best of all? He was wearing this knit beanie cap that covered his awful hair, so I almost didn’t recognize him. It’s simply amazing how covering up one’s hair can completely change your look from “giant douchebag” to “mildly-attractive-yet-eww-you-kissed-Ashlee-Simpson-and-probably-Joe-Simpson-too douchebag.”

Case in point, just look at the difference. Crazy! (Props to Steven for his mad Photoshop skillz, yo.)

– Moye Ishimoto