What is it about the prospect of seeing two people beat the shit out of each other that celebrities find so irresistible? Earlier this month in Las Vegas, the De La Hoya/Merriweather clinchfest drew more famous faces than a season’s-worth of Laker home games, with everyone from Jack Nicholson to Helen Mirren (!) screaming for a knockout. But title fights only come around so often, so celebs who crave a little bloodsport closer to home should take a cue from Ryan Gosling, who turned a Wednesday afternoon visit to the Farmer’s Market branch of Chipotle into an opportunity to play fight promoter. As Ryan and a pudgy pal were waddling out of the restaurant, they came across two girls fighting over a parking space. The sensitive star of Half Nelson and his bloated bro immediately started egging the girls on, cussing and caterwalling like a couple of drunken rednecks at a cockfight as busloads of slack-jawed tourists looked on in amazement. If Ryan had put half this much energy into The United States of Leland, he’d have Shia LaBeouf’s career. Instead, he got a cold burrito and hot cat fight.
– Chris May