When you’re a big celebrity like Cameron Diaz, it’s tough to keep a low profile. Not only is she the world-famous star of sidesplitters like The Sweetest Thing, but she’s also got a giant, lumpy bobble-head and scabby, beet-red cheeks that make her stand out like a turnip in a field of lilies. On top of that, today she was at the center of a monumental traffic jam in her cute little black Porsche Carrera as she tried to make a left-hand turn off Fairfax onto Beverly, in the middle of rush hour traffic, while talking on a cell phone, smoking a cigarette, and drinking a coffee.
Even under the best conditions, making a left there is tantamount to throwing a fat F You finger in the face of the Traffic Gods, daring them to send a big red MTA bus barreling right through the intersection. But somehow Cameron managed to flick her ash, sip her drink, shift gears, work the clutch, brake, and accelerator, turn the steering wheel, and keep gabbing on her cell phone like it was just another day on the set. You’d have to be insane or desperate or seriously late for an appointment with your dermatologist to attempt a turn like that. In Cameron’s case, it’s probably all three.
– Chris May