"Children roasting on an open fire/Krampus ripping at your throat/Santa Claus is a fat f*cking liar/who'll bring you socks and underwear/(Shit you'll never wear)" So begins drag legend Jackie Beat's fab new holiday parody of the Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song" – The … [Read more...]
The BBC’s “Watership Down” Is Here to Traumatize a New Generation of Children
"Here Jimmy," my mother said. "Watch this nice movie about bunnies..." Awww. Yes, please! I love bunnies. Little animated bunnies, living together. Hopping together. HOLY FUCK! TEARING EACH OTHER APART! MURDERING EACH OTHER! SO MUCH BLOOD! FIELDS OF BLOOD! WHY, MOM, … [Read more...]
Man With a Bullhorn Breaks Into Church and LIES to Children, Saying Santa Doesn’t Exist
Aaron Urbanski, 31, of Joshua, Texas, was arrested on a charge of trespassing at a North Texas church on Saturday after telling children that Santa Claus is "not real." It happened at St. Mark United Methodist Church of Cleburne during a "Breakfast with Santa" event, police … [Read more...]
#Ouch: Utah Guy Arrested for Hammering Ice Pick Through Man’s Penis
A Utah man was charged last week with sexual assault and kidnapping after police say he hammered a tool resembling an ice pick through another man's penis during an argument. Jason Dee Maughn is accused of putting a gun to the victim's head and handcuffing him to a chair. The … [Read more...]
“Feed Two Birds with One Scone” – How PETA Wants People to Stop Using “Anti-Animal” Phrases
Well-intentioned but increasingly nutty animal rights organization PETA has asked that ‘anti-animal language’ or ‘Speciesism’ be treated the same way as things like racism or homophobia. They've gone so far as to provide a handy chart suggesting … [Read more...]
#WTF?!: Trump’s Latest Spelling Mistake Has the Internet Wondering…”Who’s Scott Free?”
Face it America, our president is barely literate. No stranger to Twitter spelling errors, while tweeting about Michael Cohen (who pleaded guilty to lying to Congress) Trump said that he should not get off without paying for it. Ie; scot-free. Either he knows a guy named … [Read more...]
Holiday Gift Idea: The Oreo Music Box That Plays SONGS on Your COOKIES! (Kind of!)
Yes, it's a music box... that works like a record player! Except instead of vinyl you place a cookie on the turntable! And then the you put the arm on the cookie, and press the black "play" button. You then... voila! ... you hear one of four pre-recorded Oreo-inspired songs! AND … [Read more...]
Pete Davidson to Online Trolls: “I Won’t Kill Myself”
This poor guy. SNL star Pete Davidson says he can no longer stay quiet about the near-constant harassment he gets from online trolls since he broke up with Ariana. He wrote: View this post on … [Read more...]
Odd Headline OTD: Joan Collins Thinks Her Late Sister Jackie Has Been Reincarnated as a Fly
Dame Joan Collins, 85, recently told The Observer that she believes her late sister Jackie has been reincarnated... as a fly. “I have this little fly that comes near me all the time. It’s really strange,” Collins told the … [Read more...]
The Trent Reznor/Ted Cruz Celebrity Feud Pretty Much Sums Up 2018
Proof that we are living in the nuttiest timeline (#TheMandelaEffect): Earlier this week, Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor dissed toadying Tump loyalist Senator Ted Cruz at a concert, … [Read more...]
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