Although she’s doing it beautifully, she’s not doing it gracefully. Madonna is being dragged kicking and screaming into middle age. Currently, she’s insisting she’s not a relic, not too old to speak for the youthful H&M fashion chain. Which is arguable. And she still harbors ill toward Mariah Carey, who once said she grew up listening to Madonna, who’s only 11 years older. But you don’t have to be a mathematician to figure out that when M was 11, M was 22. Still, the New York Post reports today that Madonna was thrilled to hear that Mariah had to cancel three dates on her tour due to low ticket sales, while Madonna is expected to gross $200 million. A source is said to have said, “Madonna laughed hysterically. She has been asking her tour promoters to email her Mariah’s numbers!” The Material Girl should relax or that material will turn into corduroy.