You Whores is the new eBay. Or at least the classifieds on the back pages of so-called alternative publications. Actually, it’s not quite either. It’s an Internet swap-meet. Sort of.

slap me
I’ve got four weeks to raise £800 for a trip to thailand, and absolutley no talent for making money whatsoever. for just £10 I will let you slap the shit out of me. 80 good kickings later and I’ll be on my way. no time wasters please.

Tim
[email protected]
United Kingdom – 12/07/0

•

Stinky Vengeance
I, Fuzzatchi, will do vengeance upon your foes for Twenty USD. Pitch me some ideas after payment, but usually I will figure something out. Avialable in Central Texas most of the time. (No killings, no cops, or similarily risky business. Popping someone in the head with a good rock is fine.) So let Vengeance be yours!

Fuzzatchi
[email protected]
United States of America – 04/07/04

•

I’ll pick your nose
If you find picking your own nose distateful, I’m your man! For US$20.00 I will pick your nose until it is fresh and clean.

Thomas Topham
[email protected]
Kyrgyzstan – 03/07/04

•

Answering Machine Listening Service
I will listen to all of your answering machine messages, $3.99 the first minute, $1.99 each additional minute.

Call Now! I’m standing by!

Lloyd
[email protected]
United States of America – 03/07/04