Yes, Perez, Pete Burns is a free man and he’s in our clutches.

WOW has been filming his every move since his eviction from the slammer, after a mystery donor stumped up the cash. Pete was detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure for a shocking total of 60 days, though with all those horrible grunts around it “felt like an eternity.” As Pete pointed out as he was sped away from the gates of Wandsworth Prison, hidden from paparazzi by the tinted windows of a 4X4, “some murderers and rapists get less time than that.” What Pete was in there for in the first place is totally beyond our comprehension, but we are sure to get to the bottom of it.

Pete’s got to stay outside the perimeter of London’s M25. No, we didn’t know such a place existed either. Is it like Narnia? Anyway, thank goodness for the rural and adoring fan who wrote to Pete in prison offering support and is now making him breakfast in bed.

Next up, Pete returns to london with special dispensation to get some cosmetic tune-up.

– UK team