Christina Aguilera is opening a “British themed restaurant” in Soho, NY.
Apparently, she “fell in love with all things British” on a recent visit,
and was so impressed with our unique cuisine (disgusting greasy egg and
chips washed down with milky tea) that she wishes now to inflict it upon
discerning New Yorkers. We’re just waiting for her to start sporting a
cor-blimey cockney accent like Madonna.

THE NEW POSH AND BECKS: SPLIT
Whilst David Beckham holidays in the Sun, snapped wearing nothing but tight white Y-fronts (the same style he was snapped in on a balcony in Portugal a month ago) the new Posh und Becks –  Wayne Rooney and gf Coleen McCloughlin, an aspiring model – have split. . . because he HAD SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE.

This hardly marks fat-faced Rooney out from other British soccer stars, but Coleen thought she heard wedding bells, and more importantly, a string of endorsements that made Posh and Becks look smalltime.

Rooney is considered the greatest Soccer talent in Britain in 40 years, but is encumbered by a) the fact he is very ugly b) he is very stupid c) he looks like a criminal and comes from Liverpool. Hence the popular chant that soccer fans sing whenever he appears: “He’s fat, he’s Scouse, he’ll rob your fucking house.” All of which is undeniable.