This whole gay or straight thing is getting a little boring, don’t you think? Being straight has always been boring. And being gay went through all sorts of changes – naughty, cool, the lipstick lesbian thing, and now, well, it’s kind of everyday and normal. Boring. Then there was that metro thing – but it wasn’t much more than a blip, was it?

But fear not, there’s a new sexuality to get all excited about! The New Scientist, a seriously posh and respected scientific journal, is reporting that people are identifying themselves as “asexual.” They even have a society, and wear cool t-shirts proclaiming “it’s not just for amoebas!” –and we all know that if it’s on a t-shirt, it just has to be for real.

We at WOW London take our research very seriously, so I did a bit of a straw poll. (OK, so I asked Jacques Peretti, who sits opposite, and emailed Stephen Saban in LA – but they are both really clever, and I reckon they know as much as we need on the subject). And this is what we came up with:

If you think just how much energy, money, and effort we all use just getting laid, not to mention all the trouble, worry, anxiety, and apologising that usually follows getting laid – just imagine how far you would go if you channelled those resources elsewhere! You’d be the freakin’ President of the United States by now! This asexual thing is the way forward.

But Stephen Saban, never one to pooh-pooh serious scientific research, has perhaps the best take on it. “Every now and again I find sex a bit boring. I think about it, but don’t have the energy to act on it. Does that make me asexual? Or just lazy?”