Kevin Hart was the MC for the Roast of Justin Beiber and didn’t waste any time delivering the first blow:
10. “Tonight we are gonna do what parents and the legal system should have done a long time ago – give the boy an ass-whuppin’ he deserves.”–Kevin Hart
9. Citing Bieber’s 60 million Twitter followers, the surprisingly funny Martha Stewart cracked: “The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
8. “You have left SO many horrible and unwatchable videos, you should change your name to Vanilla ISIS.” –Snoop Dogg
7. Jeff Ross pulled no punches: “Seth Rogen thinks you’re a conceited piece of shit, and he hangs out with James Franco.”
6. “Lately a lot of people have been pointing their fingers at you — and those are just lesbians showing the barber how they want their haircut.” –Jeff Ross
5. Will Ferrell was in character as Ron Burgundy: “I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather.”
4. “Justin’s fan are called ‘beliebers’ because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.” – Natasha Legerro
3. “Why are you here? This is a terrible idea. You’re about to get fucked harder than Orlando Bloom fucked Selena Gomez.” –Chris D’Elia
2. “Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.” – Ludacris
1. “Justin, you have such a huge career behind you.” –Jeff Ross
At the end of the roast, Justin got his turn to speak and said:
“Damn, you guys were brutal. This was supposed to be a birthday present. When people ask me what I got for my 21st birthday, I’ll tell them I got my dick kicked in. I should have known.”
But Bieber also got in the final jab back after taking it like a man all night:
“What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
Roast of Justin Bieber airs March 30 on Comedy Central.
