Dear Black Girl,
Where are all the good guys in LA?
– Lonely in LALA land

dear lonely,
ahhhh you poor thing. i’m gone keep it short and sweet for you. where the hell do you think they at? they either taken, they gay, they in jail, or they at the mall with me spending they chips.

Dear Black Girl,
Small, tight butts or juicy, meaty, slappable butts? What’s better? Juicy like mine?
– JUICCCCCYYYYYYYYYY

dear JUICCCCCYYYYYYYYYY,
chile it depends on who you givin the booty to. since a black person wouldn’t even ask me something like this, i am assuming you is white and you got some jungle fever going on. since white girls are starting to have donkey asses now they want to get some black dick in they life. i ain’t mad at cha girl, but to answer your question juicy, slappable, wobble wobble ass is the best. brothas want a ass to slap em back after they hit it.

Dear Black Girl,
I got this fucking thing above my eye. And on the tip of my nose. It’s like a ma’fuckin shingle or something. I don’t know. I think I’m clean. What the deal? Is it from too much sun? Is my girl playin me behind my back? Holla back.
– Itchier than a mothafucker

dear itchier,
look itchy or scratchy, or whoever you are. dayum, what the hell you been doing? the deal is you got that shit. you know good and hell well it ain’t from no sun. you need to stay yo ass out the nappy dugout until you find out who on yo team. and what da fuck is a shingle? just put some butter on it and take some tussin. you’ll be aiight.

If you have questions for the Black Girl, write to her at [email protected].