Dear Black Girl,I’m an average blasian male asking the question that I’m sure is on most people’s minds. That is, what is the best way to pick a black girl up at the club? I’ve tried everything from inviting the honey back to the crib for some hyp and hot math-equation-solving action to straight up telling them “I’d like to do karate all over yo body.” I don’t know if it was my bad Asian accent when I speak English but let’s just say it didn’t work out that well.
– Confused Ghetto Samurai
dear confused,
look-a-here lotus blossom. yo problem is you is doing too much “last dragon” and not enough wu-tang clan! since it’s too late for you to take up golf like my boy tiger woods, this what you gotta do – say as little as possible to the sistahs with ya funny-ass engwish, ya hear me, bruce leroy? benjamins is the universal language. keep your dance moves simple, the cris flowin’, and soon you’ll be the master. sho nuff!
Dear Black Girl,
With the rising cost of health care, a messy war overseas with no end in sight, a skyrocketing unemployment rate, the disastrous state of social security, and the looming threat of terrorism, why isn’t someone with such immense leadership qualities and tremendous vision like yourself running for president?
– A Concerned Voter
dear concerned,
i ain’t tryin to be in no WHITE house? i would have to paint that mutha black and blaze more fire than bill and george clinton. who needs health care when you can get some tussin or go to tj if you get burnt. it’s a war e’rryday where i live. just bob and weave. if you see a street corner ain’t no such thang as unemployment. they ain’t ready for me. if i was in the black house this place would be like a runaway slave. . .off da chain.
