Dear Black Girl,
i have a certain appreciation, um, no, let me rephrase, i have a certain propensity, um, wait, let me try again, i have a certain predilection. . . okay, scratch that, let me just blurt it out, i have a hungry obsession for sistas! i love black women. as a fellow who’s not black, and barely a man, my question is, how can i get me some of that sweet nubian action?
– mr. jungle fever
dear mr. jungle fever,
hungry obsession? wtf? don’t say that shit to nobody else cause you know white people be eating us. i ain’t mad atcha for loving us though. it’s true. the darker the berry the sweeter the juice. since you all talking about you ain’t even a man, AND you a white boy, baby the quickest way for you to taste some black berries is for you to break bread.

Dear Black Girl,
For many years now there’s been this incredible sexual tension between me and this girl in the accounting department at work. We both know it’s there, but we never really have gotten together. Should we just book a room somewhere and cut loose?
– Name Withheld

dear withheld,
You slippin on ya pimpin. If you know this girl wants you too, then what’cha waiting fo? she work in accounting so you know she like that money. take her out for some scrimps and steak before you start booking rooms and stuff. you’d be a happier man at that snooty fox if she was a little bent. trust me.

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