Dear Black Girl,
What’s up with Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles? Chicken and biscuits I can see, but Chicken and Waffles?
– Confused white boy

Confused white boy,
one thing you need to know about black people, is that we love a good deal. where else could we go to get breakfast, lunch and dinner at one time? and it’s the bomb too. you obviously ain’t knowin’. get yourself down there and order a #9. tell them the black girl sent you. peace!

Dear Black Girl,
What do black people think of whites who act all black and shit?
– Phil

phil,
people know when you’re being fake. if you talking like colin powell for most of the day and then suddenly start throwing black slang around like martin lawrence for the five minutes you spend with your black co-workers, odds are they know what’s going on.  this is a pretty tough question, I could probably write for pages and pages if I wanted to, but the short answer is this: if you white and you really do love expensive rims, r&b and hip hop, and chappelle’s show, fine. if you don’t, that’s fine too (although the chappelle show season one dvd is fuckin’ funny, y’all). just don’t pretend to like these things if they not really you.

Dear Black Girl,
I have a small Asian ass! What’s the best way for me to get a badonkadonk? I think that having one would bring me more joy and success in life. I want one. Holla back.
– Alisa

Dear little asian girl,
a badonkadonk is a stupid, ghetto, donkey booty. the first step in getting a badonkadonk is to pray. secondly, you need to get your freak on and give it to your man froggy style in the bedroom. this works wonders for the ass (and legs). you also need to go on a soul food diet which i can guarantee will go straight to yo ass. go to roscoe’s chicken and waffles with confused white boy for a couple weeks. having this new found junk in your trunk will definitely bring you more joy and success cause you will be off the chain and men will be throwing they wallets at you.