Dear Black Girl,
I need some advice quickly on how to avoid some potential baby mama drama. I am in a relationship with a great guy. Finally! He was married to this woman for 8 years but has since divorced. I think she wants him back. She always calls him for stupid things like to bring over an onion, hang her blinds, or paint her house. She treated him pretty poorly in their marriage and still treats him bad. They have a daughter and he feels like he is doing the right thing to keep the peace so he can see his daughter. I get angry because he is too nice of a guy to tell her no. I am a pretty laid back person, but I can see a caldron brewing here. What should i do?
– New Woman on the Block
dear new woman,
honey child you in a situation dats gone make you have to be the bigger woman. i’m gone tell you like dis, as soon as ole girl catch wind of you being with her baby daddy she gone be asking more of him than she already do. if he such a good man and err’ything like you say, then yeah she want him back. she at least want to smash him so she can know he still belong to her in some way. you gone have to put a short leash on him. after you whip it on him real tough, make him a sandwich and tell him how you feel about the situation at hand. tell him you undastand he gotta do some stuff for his lil shawty, but you ain’t feelin him being at ex-wifey’s beckon call. let dat dude know dat you got his back no matter what. of course you will be letting alotta shit slide in the beginning. but the plan is to stop him from doing anything for that broad. do not misundastand me, you gotta act cool so he can think you straight. but between me and you dats yo man now. let’s go!
Dear Black Girl,
I read your column last week and i am confused by your advice to the white man who wrote to you. You told him that it was not appropriate for him to refer to the black gentleman in his building as a Negro. You then said that white people should in general not use any word starting with the letter ‘n’ when referring to african americans. We all know what word is being suggested here. My question to you is why is it inappropriate for a white person to use the ‘n’ word when that’s all you people say in your music these days? I mean I know the obvious answer here, but I guess I just think it is silly that the very word african americans despise is so freely used in the black community. How do feel about this?
– John Smith
first of all, did you say you people? right off the bat i see you one of those. you gotta face da fact dat some things are just the way they are. if i go to beverly hills and it’s me and becky in the store, she gone get helped first. if a black dude is driving in orange county in the middle of da night, he gettin pulled over and questioned. you cannot go around saying nigga. i mean you could, but dat might be da last thing you say. yeah i agree dat word is used freely in our community, but ain’t nothing in dis world free. we use the word nigga as a term of endearment, or to express kinship. you see shay, we have taken a word dat has been used against us (and still is) in such a negative way, and turned it into something positive. it’s all we could do. we all we got. but you see it ain’t free. this conversation ain’t free. the person who you gone slip up in front of definitely ain’t gone be free. so do you.