Dear Black Girl,
i am a white male in my mid-thirties and i love black women. in particular i love the way they smell. whenever i go over a black woman’s house it smells like good food mixed with a little incense. i have never had a bad experience with the way they smell in the bedroom either. i find myself smelling everything from head to toe and i can’t help it. recently, however, i spent the night over this girl’s house and while we were spooning i got a whiff of this awful smell near her head and can’t figure out what it was. i smelled the pillows and they smelled fine. she had just got out of the shower and her hair was slicked back in the ponytail. her hair was in my face and nose so i know it wasn’t that either. what else could it have been? maybe you just had to be there. any thoughts,
– ganja man
dear ganja man,
yo! first of all, don’t be trynna invite me to no freak fest light weight. maybe i just had to be therr. you ain’t slick. but you are in luck. since her hair was slicked back i am sure it was in a burnt-out wet bun. next time dis happens check da scrunchie that is wrapped around da ponytail. some broads reuse da same wet srunchie and never wash or air it out. i guarantee it smell like sweaty azz crack. just take it off and throw it unda da bed or something. that should solve your problems.
Dear Black Girl,
The other day, I was explaining to a friend that a crazy man who lives in my apartment building keeps threatening my life. He’s under the paranoid delusion that I’m some kind of private detective out to get him, though I don’t even know his name. Anyway, in describing the guy, I said, “He’s a large, light-skinned Negro. . .,” at which point my friend said, “Negro? Are you racist?” No, I’m not. But is Negro, in fact, a pejorative term? I think I may have been talking in police-description mode and, had it been someone else I was describing, might have said “a large Caucasian male.” So what’s Black Girl’s word on “Negro”? Am I an insensitive prick?
– Rachel Tolerance (not my real name; I’m a male)
you is a suspect. no wonder dude think you a unda cova or something. why you even be talkin in fed terms? don’t you know dat kinda talk will get you kilt? i think you need to recognize dat we ain’t back in da old days no moe kunta. negro is like some slave shit. how old are you anyways? yeah negro is a pejorative term. whatever da hell that means. there you go talkin dat bullshit again. my word on dis here is dat you find some new words, especially when talkin bout my peeps. don’t say anything staring with ‘n’ when talkin bout a black person. i’m just lookin out for you.