Justin Timberlake should be the new James Bond? Has he brought sexy back? Janet, Rihanna, Jessica, and a heated discourse on summer songs, which leads inevitably to a heated discourse on pop star breakups and their winners and losers. Christina Applegate, someone posits, looks like Andy Dick. Will Reichen Lehmkuhl hurt Lance Bass? Never date a reality star because they will kick you off the island. The tragic Brooke Astor story is discussed, then it’s back to music videos! Yay! What’s this about Jay Z’s mom and Beyoncé? Project Runway. Journaling. Scrapbooking. The dolls at the American Girl Store. The heat and global warming: God’s way of punishing the fat? Al Gore. World Trade Center. Nicolas Cage as Liberace. Hayley Duff, that bitch. George Michael and what he probably liked about that portly guy in the shrubs. Is Smegma the hippest refrigerator in the UK? Vin Diesel not gay? Christopher Reeve. Pirates of the Caribbean‘s tentacle-faced Davy Jones: “That’s the hottest look I’ve seen in years!” exclaims James. “God, I wish w could have done that in the clubs.”

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