Q. Allan Brocka (right), writer-director of the film, Eating Out, and codirector of the WOW doc, Porno Valley, hates American Idol and commits his opinions to print every week at The Advocate.com. This latest report is a delightful romp combining a few of my own dislikes: American Idol, animals in peril, amateur vocalists, child performers, judges, pedophiles.
Jon Peter Lewis is the only do-able guy in the bunch, but honestly, if he made that smirky face in bed… His voice is all over the place tonight while his feet are nailed to the floor. He shakes his butt a lot, presumably to loosen the nails. The judges are mixed. Someone please tell Randy Jackson that “You chillin’ up there?” is not a critique. It’s barely even a sentence. John Stevens sounds like a drowning goat, determined to bleat out “My Girl” before its horns go under. A creepy guest judge (the male, I think) tells John he looks “pure and innocent” up there. I suddenly long for another season of American Juniors, only this time with celebrity judges R. Kelly and Michael Jackson (their commentary would be priceless). While I actually like Stevens’s freakish Rat Pack invocation, it’s time for him to go. Fame would only corrupt him anyway.