WOW’s executive assistant and onetime star of Italian horror films, Lydia Rendon, wants us all to know that tomorrow, September 19, is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For real. Which, frankly, sounds like a nightmare. We don’t know what she expects of us, but we know for a fact that if you don’t get it just right, you’ll end up sounding like a leprechaun. Those guys up there, Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket, started the infernal day in 1995, and this inset guy here, Robert Newton, whom you’ll recognize as Long John Silver from the movie Treasure Island, is the day’s patron saint and set the standard for piratespeak. Now you know.