Actor and sex worker David Pevsner has had a career unlike any other.
If you watch TV, you’ve probably seen Pevsner before. He’s had parts on Modern Family, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy and has appeared in films including Lindsay Lohan’s Liz & Dick.
In his autobiography Damn Shame, Pevsner writes that sex is
“inherently amusing and sometimes hilarious.
If you’re nervous, you can’t automatically become un-nervous. Start with being nervous. If you’re having sex with somebody and you’re like, ‘I don’t want to show him I’m nervous’ – show him you’re nervous! And then it kind of moves naturally into what it’s going to be.
Sometimes, you’re having sex and the bed breaks – ‘Oh no, how embarrassing!’ – no!
Laugh about it! It’s hilarious. It happened to me, I have a little thing holding up my bed because I was fucking this guy and the bed broke. To me it’s a funny story I don’t mind saying out loud.
Let sex be what it’s going to be.”
Pevsner has performed in musicals and plays and he’s also worked as an escort, and most recently, he has carved out a new niche for himself as an OnlyFans star. Now at 63, he’s determined to show the world that older guys are sexy.
He grew up a scrawny gay boy in Chicago in the 1960s overcome with feelings self-loathing when he realized he had the hots for the handsome, hairy men on TV. During the AIDS epidemic, he moved to New York to kickstart his theatre career.
And his journey to “healing” began in a bathhouse
“I knew inside of me that I wasn’t just a ‘missionary position’ kind of guy.
I knew I wasn’t like, ‘I want to fall in love with somebody and then be with them my whole life.’ I knew there was something else, but if you thought that way, you were a slut. When I started going to bathhouses, I just kept thinking: ‘If my parents knew what I do in a bathhouse…’
I’m a good Jewish boy who’s got this dirty streak inside.”
David is quick to point out that he doesn’t use the word “dirty” in a negative way – he sees it as empowering as someone
who’s not afraid to explore pleasure and erotica.
The bathhouse helped me do just that. They were the first essence of, I’m doing something that I’m told I shouldn’t do – wandering the hallway, finding a guy, fucking him, leaving, and finding another one… It helped me explore the deeper, darker stuff that I don’t know I would have explored had I not been able to go and do it anonymously.”
That primed Pevsner for an escorting career. As the years went by, he found himself feeling increasingly attracted to the idea of sex work.
After years of exploring his sexuality through bathhouses and leather bars, David tried out his ultimate fantasy.
“I know plenty of guys who have done it, and everybody has a different experience.
My experience was very pleasurable. It taught me a lot about myself, it taught me a lot about men. When I was escorting, it wasn’t just about,
‘I show up, I fuck and I make money’
– it was so not just that, because I was dealing with individual people.
Everybody had different needs, everybody had different ways of asking for their needs. As an actor, I found it fascinating the characters that I met – some really sweet people who were either lonely or needy or hungry – whatever it was, I always tapped into it. It turns out, I enjoyed it.
Sorry everybody who wants to take sex work and put shame on it – my personal experience of it was great.”
After Tumblr banned adult content, Pevsner moved to OnlyFans.
OnlyFans is a great place, because it’s very much the case that you are there because you want to be there. You pay to be there, so it’s not like it’s going on XTube where just anybody can click on it and have an opinion. I’m not interested in your opinion, I just want to do my work.
Doing this, to me, feels like activism. A 60-something year old guy filming these videos, putting them up shamelessly, and saying:
‘This is what I do at home.’”
Pevsner says he’s concerned that there’s an entire generation of young queer people that are stifling themselves sexually and hiding their innermost desires.
“If you feel like you want to do it, you should do it too.
You don’t have to show anybody, you don’t have to film it – open your mind to expanding your sex life to not feeling shame about it.
If there’s something like, ‘I could never use a dildo – I’d be afraid to go in and even buy one’ – go f**king buy a dildo and use it. Take photos of yourself if you’ve always wanted to. You don’t have to keep them – get rid of themafterwards, but the act of doing it can be so freeing.
We’re so fucking closed off about sex in America.”
Damn Shame: A memoir of Desire, Defiance and Show Tunes is out now. If you’re curious, Pevsner is @realguyLA on OnlyFans.
(Photos, David Pevsner; via PinkNews)