The name of the blockbuster is not War of The Worlds, not Mr and Mrs Smith, but Bridezilla. Love is the ultimate weapon of mass promotion as the Cruise missile goes up against the Brangelina smart bomb.
Last night, Tom’s nuclear meltdown approached critical as he sparred with that Australian 60 Minutes reporter, while Katie redeemed the situation a little by revealing she has a craving for Sprinkles Cupcakes.
Verdict: Stop the insanity!
But Brad, instead of jumping up and down on Oprah’s sofa, took Diane to Africa. Diane Sawyer melted over him like an ice cream as Brad took on the Bob Geldof mantel. In addition to having a plan for Africa, a UK press flurry claims he’s moving to Hove – a derelict seaside town on the south coast of Britain – to design an apartment block with Frank Gehry. In case we take architect and statesman roles too seriously he dies his hair rent-boy blond. Meanwhile, Angelina, with understated and unshakeable cool, wipes the floor with easily flappable Ann Curry.
Verdict: Thunderbirds are go!
– Fenton Bailey