“What? I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a showdog. But who needs all that exercise. I like to sleep and eat. What? People like their pets? Well, my people spend all their time watching TV, so you figure it out. Which reminds me, I gotta wake them up in time to watch Showdog Moms & Dads. The second episode is on tonight at 10PM on Bravo. Now move, I gotta take a leak and I’m not averse to using your leg.”