Because it’s never too early to start planning your Halloween outfit, I’ve come up with a list of nine costumes RIPPED FROM TODAY’S HEADLINES. All totally tasteless, of course, but we’re celebrating in the spirit of Joan Rivers this year, who never met a tragedy she couldn’t make fun of. Check them out after the jump.
1. Isis. From the old Shazam/Isis Hour? BECAUSE OF THE TERROR GROUP? Oh ha ha ha ha. Of course, only old people will get it, but I’m always looking for an excuse to bust out my forehead jewels.
2. An Ebola health worker. Super easy to do. Rubber gloves, rubber apron, goggles….The more advanced costume idea is to be an actual Ebola victim, but that takes mad makeup skills to get the boils just right. Trust me.
3. Mrs Doubtfire, of course. Perfect for first-time-in-drags who want to pay a little homage.
4. Who’s had the worst year EVER? Malaysian Airline stewardesses, of course. Show them you care with a tasteful Halloween tribute. A floral patterned dress… maybe a “missing” sign over your head… or a wildly spinning compass….
5. Carry a stuffed snake and be Nicki Minaj’s dancer who got bit at the VMA rehearsals. Hmmmm. That was really funny in my head, but it’s doubtful anybody will remember by next month.
6. An ice bucket? Like: from the ALS challenge? I haven’t really thought this one through yet.
7. Can we talk? Joan, Joan, Joan. Pick any period: ’60s housewife Joan, ’80s ballgown-and-big-hair Joan, or the Muppet-faced octogenarian from the Fashion Police. (God, I miss her!)
8. Of course you could always be the MOST TASTELESS QUEEN OF ALL, Bianca Del Rio. All it takes is 40 pairs of lashes and some industrial cement to glue them on.
9. And the easiest outfit of all? A name tag with “Adele Dazeem” on it.