As the dust begins to settle on the Sony Hacker scandal, one thing is perfectly clear: Poor beleaguered Sony exec Amy Pascal is persona non grata in Hollywood. Seriously. Even Kim Jong Un came out of this mess looking better than she did. I heard BILL COSBY called her the other day and was like, “Dayum, woman, you got an IMAGE PROBLEM.” She’s less popular on the red carpet than the EBOLA NURSE. Hey Ooooooh! What we’re trying to say is that she OBVIOUSLY can’t continue at Sony in her present position. We’ve been giving a lot of thought to her problem here at the WOW Report, though, and have come up with 5 possible career options.
5. She could remain film industry-adjacent and become a costumed character on Hollywood Boulevard.
4. She could always become a wowlebrity. We’ll give her her own WOWPresents show.
3. She can be as judgmental and power-hungry as she wants as the door girl at Bootsy Bellows nightclub.
2. She’d be perfect as a gossipy landlord.
1. Or a wacky beautician from a 1930’s comedy.