I think a lot of people think love is a four-letter word, or they have this sense that they will “know it when they see it.” I’m not so sure that’s how it happens. You know when you are at a crazy all-night frat party (Ok, if you weren’t in a fraternity any party will do, work with me) and it’s really late and everyone is using beer bottles as ashtrays. And in that half-drunken haze you reach for your beer, and it’s right next to one that has, like, three loogies and two Marlboro butts nestled down in the bottom. You put the bottle up to your lips and begin to take a swig, and out of the corner of your eye you see the nasty beer bottle and for a split second your brain has the most massive freak-out because you think that you’re drinking someone’s nasty swill. The experience jerks you sober, and you’re in that state of flux and then when you realize that your beer is untainted it becomes the most amazing feeling and the best beer you’ve ever had. Well that, ladies and gentlemen, is the longest metaphor I can think of to perfectly represent love.

In the ’90s we all had to watch endless romantic comedies about two sad lonely people who lived happily ever after. You know, they always stared Meg Ryan before Dr Frankenstein attacked her face. That was crap. The movies never showed what happened the next day when the guy woke up and realized he was stuck with this crazy woman who had huge gums smiling at him for the rest of his life. That’s the real story of love, being able to get along with another person even when you really, really, really don’t want to.

People LIKE someone because of the things they are attracted to, like a nice ass or a sense of humor or amazingly hot bull sex. But you LOVE someone for all of the flaws they have. Being able to not choke them when they won’t shut up or not screaming when there is a pube on your soap and it’s not yours or standing beside someone even when at that moment you would rather be in a firing squad line-up. These things are love. At the end of the day, accepting and enjoying someone’s flaws is what real love is all about.

So fuck the romantic comedies of yesterday and watch some good stuff. Love, Actually is a brilliant film because yes there are a lot of cheesy endings that work out, but there are also a lot that don’t. The Color Purple shows a love between two sisters that could never be broken. A Trip to Bountiful is about a woman who loves the home she was raised in. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is about a man in love with his chainsaw (the remake is better because the people are hotter. Mike Vogel is the blond, look him up!). These are REAL stories of love, not that bullshit about two people who are cute and quirky and live together happily ever after. I just think it’s not fair to give people the idea that these perfect stories happen. I mean, love bites and if it didn’t, Def Leppard wouldn’t have had a hit song about it.

Love comes in many different forms, and I think you have to be open to it happening and not so narrow-minded to believe that it’s gonna be that one person. It could be your children or your work or peanut butte- and-banana sandwiches. If it makes you happy, then I think that’s a lot like love and closer than most people will ever get. You don’t always know who will be standing with you at the end, but it’s not always gonna be the person you expected. That’s love. BLOG HARD!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.

– Dylan Vox