Selling Your Soul
Last night, I had the weirdest dream and wanted to share it with ya’ll. OK, so maybe it’s not exciting to hear about someone’s dream, but it leads to the story, so chill out! In my dream, I was on my way to an audition with four friend and we had to go through an old cave to get to the audition (it’s a dream, they don’t make sense). When we got into the cave, these scary zombielike people told us that they would kill us all, OR we could choose which one of us they could kill and the rest of us would go free, but we couldn’t tell anyone about the cave or we would die anyway. So we all cried and fought and finally decided that my friend Scott would be killed so the rest of us could live. Then we had to continue to the audition, and I was really good because I cried a lot in the audition room and that’s what the character called for. YES, I KNOW IT’S TWISTED, but it was a dream!
Now, granted, I had an audition this morning, AND last night right before bed I finally watched the season finale of Survivor: Cook Islands (and if you go back a few blogs to the beginning of the season before the show even aired, you’ll see I predicted the winner). But I digress. The show had a similar premise to my dream, but no one died of course. I think it’s crazy how real life incorporates itself into dreams.
Anyway, the dream made me think about how many people in the entertainment industry are willing to sell their souls in order to be successful. Joe Simpson comes to mind. This man took not one, but TWO extremely untalented, unintelligent, morons and created superstars out of them. I even know some people who have been fooled into thinking that Jessica Simpson can sing – she can’t, dudes, I swear! She screams this high-pitched shrill instead of singing and people actually like her. And Ashlee not only has her own show on MTV along with the stupid sister, but even after getting caught lipsynching and being booed off the stage at the Rose Bowl, her second album still debuted at the top of the charts. Their father made a pact, and will no doubt burn in hell for all of eternity.
Michelle Kwan also made a deal with the devil. If you like her, it’s only because you don’t know her. She is unfriendly, not very articulate, and bitch had the nerve to fire her coach of 12 years right before the Olympics, so that she would look like she did it all on her own. The woman had the balls to go to the last Olympics with a gold dress and an exhibition number to “Walk in Fields of Gold” because she was that sure she would win. She didn’t, which made me smile. Even the judges and commentators don’t care for her that much, but the girl doesn’t make mistakes. Her skating is kinda slow and boring, but the reason she wins is because she doesn’t mess up. Her pact with Satan includes having the world worship her even when she has the personality of kelp.
Steven King www.stephenking.com is considered the Master of Suspense, and is probably the most recognizable author in the world. I like his stories, really I do, he is inventive for sure, but if you ever truly sit down and read a few of his books you will see that the style STRONGLY outweighs the substance. He has flawed and weak female characters in every story, he uses first and last names for every character and rarely do the names even sound like names. At the end of the stories, which are elaborately detailed, he often uses a writing mechanic, which is a notorious form of weak writing. The deus ex machina is basically when a writer doesn’t know how to end a story so he makes God or some force of nature end the story with no explanation. It’s a weak device but his audience loves him. Oh, and he’s crazy too, which happens when you turn your soul over for fame.
Brad Pitt is over 40, and look at him. No one looks like that after 40 without making a deal. Speaking of Brad, how about the guy who had never done a film in his life and was pulled from obscurity to star opposite Brad in Troy, the blockbuster of 2004. Yeah, so Garrett Hedlund either blew every exec in Hollywood or the contract to his soul will be heading south. Cher was down to infomercials and pushing Equal, and then came back to win Grammys and make sold-out concerts and number-one albums. She has an Oscar, people! If you don’t think there was a deal made there, then you need to stop drinking hairspray in the morning.
So now I want to know when the devil is gonna come to my house and offer me a deal. OK, I wouldn’t kill off my friends like in my dream, lol, but there isn’t much else I wouldn’t do for fame. I mean, look at the crap I have done so far! BLOG HARD!
It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.
– Dylan Vox