I “came” with the band

Some people fall in love with one another, some fall in love with food or their children or their houses, and some fall in love with a stage. Unfortunately I’m one of the latter. Last night I got to rock out at a new trend in Hollywood called Extreme Karaoke. Before you throw up and insist that karaoke is a wretched invention that the Japanese came up with to take over our country one bad note at a time, let me say that most of the time I would definitely agree with you, but this is different. My best chum Mr Nightlife and I were invited to the launch of a new magazine at a chill little bar in Hollywood called Boardner’s where supposedly the legendary Black Dahlia had her last drinks before being bisected like a turkey. Oh, and on an aside, if you haven’t seen that film, I am warning you not to. Yes, I do have an incredible disdain for Hilary Skank, but besides that it’s just a bad bad film. Anyway, I was all prepared for a regular Hollywood night where everyone schmoozes on everyone and talks about them behind their backs later and then we all get cool gift bags and go home. This, however, was not one of those nights. When we walked in, I noticed that they were setting up for a band. I sat at a front table and was curious to know who was going to perform. When I was told that in fact no one was performing, that this was to be karaoke with a live band, I had a small orgasm because, as everyone knows, I FUCKING LOVE TO SING.

When I was in college I used to sing with a band and we would perform local gigs and stuff, nothing major, but the moment the music started and the microphone was in my hand I felt like a fuckin’ rock star. Now I was gonna be able to do it again, even if for only a brief moment and the humdrum Hollywood night turned into an amazing evening. The concept was killer because the band knew over 200 songs, from Led Zeppelin to Kelly Clarkson, so the diversity was awesome. No one who got up was allowed to sing a slow song, there was no “I Will Survive” or creep show tunes that tend to pop up at normal karaoke. It was a chance for people to live out their rock star dreams for a few seconds. The crowd was fun, everyone got in line, and the whole night seemed to make everyone happy. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the power of good music.

OK, now I’m gonna rant a little about crappy music. I hate techno, trance, jungle, house, club, overly electronic, under imaginary, repetitive, boring, endless soulless music. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, all DJs sound the same if you’re sober. Wheeew, there I’m glad I got that out, I feel better now.

Music is so a part of our lives that it’s hard not to write out your own soundtrack. So I thought it would be fun to give you an insight into my soundtrack and then see what songs mean something to you.

The firsts: First concert I went to was Poison and RATT when I was, like, 10 years old. The first time I ever kissed someone “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor was a number-one hit. First time I ever had sex I was listening to the soundtrack to Jurassic Park (yeah, weird, I know). First song I ever sang on stage was the Black Crows’ “She Talks to Angels”

Songs that make me cry: “Is it Over Yet” by Wynonna Judd, “I’m With You” by Avril Levine, “No One Is to Blame” (the slow version on the original album) by Howard Jones, and “Breathe Me” by Sia

Songs that just rock: “Baba O’Riley” by The Who, “Any Thing, Anything” by Dramarama, “Blaze of Glory” by Bon Jovi, “Since You been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson, “Sweet Emotion” by Aerosmith, “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar, “Black Dog” by Led Zeppelin, “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks, and “Heart-Shaped Box” by Nirvana

Songs my mom loves and I grew up with: “Mountain Music” by Alabama, “That’s Life” by Frank Sinatra, “Must Have Been Love” by Roxette, “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion, “Mountain High” by Tina Turner, and “Grandma’s Feather Bed” by John Denver

Now tell me some significant songs in your life and I can guarantee they won’t be anything like DJ Scratch and Sniff’s third remix of the fourth song that he played at White Party in ’98. There are reasons people have to do drugs at those parties and the music is one of them; that shit is just not memorable.

If you happen to be in Hollywood on Thursdays you should head over to Boardner’s on Cherokee at Hollywood Boulevard to rock out with your cock out or jam out with your clam out, whatever the case may be. BLOG HARD!!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.

– Dylan Vox