Rock Star: SuperStorm

In most entries I try to give some sort of insight into how my crazy-ass mind views the world. I’m not sure that this is going to be one of those entries. This is all about my new crush on the sexy, sultry, Supernova wanna be, Storm Large. If you didn’t watch Rock Star: INXS, or aren’t watching Rock Star: Supernova, then you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s like American Idol without the ridiculous over-sponsorship and white-washed contestants. It has great semi-established talents vying for the frontman position of an already successful band. They play the music I love, and go one step further by allowing the contestants to do their own arrangements of classic rock songs. After the great first season, I couldn’t wait to see who they were gonna pull out of the hat to be the group. When Tommy Lee, Jason Newstead of Metallica, and Gilby Clark, the luckiest man in rock ‘n’ roll (in other words he ain’t that good), decided to form a band, I almost peed.

OK, Justin Timberlake may be bringing sexy back, but personally I would rather someone bring hard, hot, real rock ‘n’ roll back. And I hope that Supernova can do it. But before they can start on the journey, they have to find a lead singer. I realize that there is no way these dudes will allow a female to front the band, but I would love to be proven wrong. On the first show the first contestant came out and her name, her real name, was Storm Large and I found myself drooling over the crazy-eyed beauty as she belted out the Who’s “Pinball Wizard,” and from then on I was hooked.

She may not be the best singer and she has about as much chance of winning as Yoko Ono did of being in the Beatles, but my crush doesn’t stem from who is gonna win. It comes from the fact that she has something in her that makes her need to perform. Now, that’s sexy. She is a little bit Axl Rose, a little bit Ann Wilson, a little bit Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2, and a little bit me. OK, so it sounds a narcissistic to have a crush on someone who reminds me of me but, hey, I think I’m sexy. I love to perform. I love being in front of a crowd or on a show performing something for people to enjoy. I don’t do it to compete with Paris Hilton for a tabloid spotting, or so that I will be able to get into a club without waiting in line. I love performing because not even sex can give me the euphoria I feel about doing something that I know an audience will get to watch. Storm has that “it” factor that makes you want to watch her and that is what makes me pray that she gets to go on each week, so I can see her let loose on the stage. Plus, she’s nice. She screams in support of the other rockers, consoles them when they need it, takes her criticism and rolls with each punch. And if you still have a doubt about her vocal ability, try singing Aerosmith’s “Cryin’” or “We Are the Champions” without changing octaves halfway through and you will see just how talented she actually is. Not to mention that she has posed naked, and I always love it when someone is a little controversial.

Rock is raw, there aren’t artificial sounds and generic noises that so many other forms of music have. That raw sound with the sweet voice of a woman is the hottest thing on earth. Pat Benatar, Mary J Blige, Kelly Clarkson, and Natalie Maines all have that raspy, desperate, pure sound that turns a song into an anthem because you can hear how much they love performing in each note they sing. Each of these women are feminine without being slutty, talented without being apologetic about where they come from or what they believe. Storm Large, too, has that magnetism, and even if she has only 15 minutes of fame, I know she will always be a star.

But don’t fear, I don’t plan on running off with Storm and starting a family in the Ozarks. In fact, I think she plays on an all-woman team, if you know what I mean. But for the next week or so I’ll be happy to hear a person fill a room with her passion, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is bringing sexy back.

The audience participation part of this blog begs you to tell me who you have a crush on. What do you think makes a person sexy? Oh, and watch the show! BLOG HARD!!!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you!

– Dylan Vox