Either You’re In, or You’re Out
This column has nothing to do with Project Runway, Heidi Klum, or fashion. But now that Heidi has had her baby Seal, season 3 has started on Bravo and season 2 is out on video, so I thought I would give the catch phrase some face time.
I went out to lunch with my psychotically beautiful mother the other day, and she ordered a salad. The waiter asked her what type of dressing she wanted and she replied, “Thousand island.” Well, as every grown man in his twenties would do, I said, “Ewwww.” Now it struck me that it’s not just hair and clothes that go out of style, but EVERYTHING in pop culture eventually becomes a Trivial Pursuit question about a different time period. So I decided to put together a list of trivial shit that has become passé over my lifetime.
Where better to start than salad dressing. In the ’70s, thousand island was everywhere, even on the Big Mac sandwich. Then in the ’80s people thought that ranch was the total shit – I knew people who treated it like a beverage. In the ’90s honey mustard was wildly popularity. But now if you put anything other than vinaigrette or lemon juice on a salad, you must have a weight problem.
Imagine you are 22 years old and walk into a bar and order a Tom Collins. A what? From Tom Collins to Amaretto sours to cosmopolitans to the current mojitos, even drinks go out of style. And while we are talking about mood altering substances, weed in the ’70s, cocaine in the ’80s, ecstasy in the ’90s and crystal in the new millennium. I have actually had a friend say that ecstasy was out of style. Now that’s funny – that you would be out of touch by using an old school drug, heaven forbid, lol.
Remember in the ’90s when lesbian music rocked? You would grab your CD Walkman and jam out to like Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrissette, Paula Cole, or Ani DiFranco. Or how ’bout the ’80s when the rockers had big hair and wore leopard spandex and you couldn’t wait to get to the mall to buy the new cassette. Now we are more sophisticated and listen to the interchangeable sounds of hip-hop lite on our iPods. And speaking of which, is there a difference between, Rihanna, Ashanti, Aaliyah, and Mya? Or are they the same people as Lisa Lisa, Apollonia, Vanity, and Shelia E?
If you were counting calories and doing jazzercise in the ’80s, and were watching the fat and aerobicizing in the ’90s, then you now are probably cutting the carbs and doing pilates. Do these things really work? I mean if you weren’t fat when you were counting calories, why would you even give e shit about carbs? What’s the difference?
If you are a Madonna fan, which apparently there are a lot of, you have different time periods to appreciate. I know one of my friends LOVES old-school Madonna like with the jelly bracelets and fishnets and shit. My younger sister remembers only the sex phase when she was naked all the time and made everything into some sort of controversy. Other people opt for the Evita period where she was clean and maternal, and then others prefer her “I can play a guitar and talk with a fake accent” rock icon image that she plays with now. I will say, however, that I don’t think anyone even remembers the phase where she thought she could rap and wore Nazi gear. And to be honest, why should they.
So I guess the point of all this is that what may be groovy to some, is awesome to others, and phat to still other. Everything goes out of style and the harder you hold on to it the less you will be able to identify with a different generation. Now I’m DEFINITELY not advocating shopping at Abercrombie if you are over 30, but it is good to make sure that your age is the only thing to get older so you can still connect with the way the world changes. BLOG HARD!
It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.
– Dylan Vox