You wanna know how much of a goodie-goodie I am? The other evening I was at a birthday party for my friend and some guy came up to me and asked if I partied with Tina. I said Tina Turner? Louise? Wesson, from Survivor? To which he replied, ”Crystal.” And I said I didn’t know her, was she a drag queen? The guy was clearly not amused and turned and walked away.
My friend who had heard the conversation came up to me and explained that the guy was asking if I did crystal meth and said it was cute that I didn’t know what he was talking about. Well, cute as it may be that I know nothing about drugs, I hate feeling ignorant about any subject, so I asked around and did some research because I wanted to know just what was so fascinating about drugs, and what they did to people. Now, like a good little boy, I want to report back to you what I learned. Most of them have little nicknames which is funny as shit so here it goes.
Gamma hydroxy butyrate, GHB, or G is cool cause apparently it’s like really strong alcohol that makes you horny and you lose your gag reflex, hot, lol. Also small traces of it are found naturally in the body, but the street stuff is like floor stripper mixed with drain cleaner and forms a clear liquid you drink which causes your body to produce high amounts of GHB. Well, being a dude, I am pretty much horny all the time and I’m pretty silly so I don’t think I need GHB, but (and I say this with no judgment) floor stripper doesn’t sound fun to drink anyway.
XTC or E or X, which is all the same thing, doesn’t sound as bad as some of the others. I guess it causes some hallucinations and makes you really touchy-feely. However, you have trouble getting it up. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who wants to doodle with a dead noodle. There is nothing less attractive than if you are trying to hump a girl or a guy and Big Willy can’t get out of the cove.
K or ketamin I think is my favorite. or at least is the most interesting. It causes a state of euphoria and causes some hallucinations. It works great with house or heavy trance music, and if you take too much you get stuck in a K-hole where you can’t move or talk until you come down. I think I have had some dates that have taken this drug, lol. My favorite thing is that the drug is used as an animal tranquilizer. I would love to have seen the first guy that was standing over a stray cat and decided, “Hey, I bet this could be fun”.
And then there’s Tina or crystal meth. Now almost everyone on Cops gets busted with this stuff, so I kinda know what it looks like and believe me no one looks hot while they are taking it. You stay up for days, you sweat, grind your teeth, and again you can’t get it up. Now if I were doing drugs I definitely would not want to stay awake for days. I don’t even like to do anything that feels good for days, and I love to sleep so there is no way I’d wanna party with Tina. Oh, and why do they call it Tina? I have asked everyone I know and no one can tell me. It’s kinda like the name Peg being a nickname for Margaret – I just don’t get it.
OK, so all this is what I have heard from friends, so who knows if it’s accurate and now I am asking you what you all know. Having never done drugs, I find it fascinating to find out why people do them, so help a brotha out and leave a comment. Oh, and BLOG HARD!!!
It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.
– Dylan Vox