By now, I’m sure you’ve seen the pics of Democratic VP nominee Tim Kaine as a young, idealistic hottie (above).
Evaluating a politician’s past hotness is one of the most crucial parts of our democratic process, but it can also be confusing terrain. Was he really hot, or was he just young? If he was hot then, does that mean that he’s hot now?
Above we have conclusive proof that Tim Kaine used to be younger than he currently is. Many of us looked hotter when we were younger. Does it follow that young Tim Kaine = hot Tim Kaine? Not necessarily—some people improve with age. But the people that posted these tweets are ready to throw down the hotness flag based on these photos. Should we all?
The truth is that these are very compelling photos. The cheekbones certainly earned Kaine some points with our judges, as did the plaid and the young-dad-vibes of the color pictures. The full head of brown hair stands in contrast to Kaine’s current look. The man knew which buttons to leave undone on his shirts.
Seeing an older, authority figure in their fair-haired youth is always a bit disconcerting. Remember how confused we were by the pics that went around last year of a surprisingly scrumptious Joe Biden?
And when we discovered that the hate-mongering old Republican John McCain was once UNBELIEVABLY HOT?
Well here, just to confuse and confound you, is an eminently doable young Paul Ryan. I hate to say it, but I’m kind of swooning. THOSE EARS! THAT HANG-DOG EXPRESSION!
And lastly (because I couldn’t find any old pics of Mike Pence), here’s a young – VERY YOUNG – Donald Trump in his cadet school uniform from the New York Military Academy. Again, this is upsetting to some, but he’s kind of the hot bully who would pick on you and then you’d go home and cry and masturbate to him and wonder what was wrong with you. Just sayin’.
(front and center)
(bottom row, second from left)
RELATED: Here are the 25 hunkiest presidents in their younger years (Richard Nixon is a real shocker! YUM!)
I bet you never knew that John Quincy Adams was a delicately featured prettyboy… Or that James Garfield was a pouty-lipped Leo DiCaprio-doppelganger with piercing grey-blue eyes? Or – holy crap – Rutherford B Hayes was the UBER-HUMPY DADDY OF YOUR DAYDREAMS. Hotheadsofstate has portraits of US presidents as young men, and, trust me, almost all of them are game-changing eye-openers. For instance – I was shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that both Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford were COMPLETELY BONER-INDUCING as young twenty-somethings. They could be porn stars! Check them out below.
John Quincy Adams
Ulysses S Grant
Rutherford B Hayes
Chester A Arthur
William H Taft
Harry S Truman
Dwight D Eisenhower
John F Kennedy
George HW Bush
President Barack Obama
See the whole list here.