They’re hot, successful, and at the top of their game. We’ve got the humpiest guys from last night’s Oscar ceremony after the jump.
10. Alejandro González Iñárritu – He seems fun, doesn’t he? And probably up for ANYTHING in the sack (see: Wearing Michael Keaton’s tighty-whities that “smell like balls”). Yeah, Alejandro is the perfect Scruff hookup. I’m COMPLETELY in love.
9. Tony Revolori (the bellboy from The Grand Budapest Hotel) – He got A LOT of air-time last night, and each time I fell a little more in love with him. Those big velvet cow eyes. That endearing smile. Yeah, he’s one you can take home to mom.
8. The Boy Next to Octavia Spencer. Yum. Was that her date? Her agent? Her ward? Oh, SNAP! That’s Charlie Rowe, her Red Band Society co-star. He has hair now. That’s odd that she brought him as her date. Their show was cancelled. Are they… a THING? He seems a little young. NO JUDGEMENTS. In fact: GET IT OCTAVIA. Whooooeee.
7. Miles Teller – looking like a young Robert Mitchum. WOW. Never really saw the potential there until last night.
6. Beardy Chris Evans. That is all.
5. Chris Pine, with that one tear. Holy Moley. INSTANTLY ICONIC. Give HIM the Oscar for Best Reaction to a Nominated Song. I never knew how much I loved him till I saw him cry. Now I want nothing more than to scoop him up in my arms and softly sing “Glory” to him, over and over.
4. Chris Pratt. Of course. Just the handsomest man in Hollywood, 2015.
3. Idris Elba. Man, oh, man, Idris could get it. Anytime. Anywhere. That accent just FLOORS me every time. Hooo ha.
2. Ansel Elgort: He’s had a growth spurt, hasn’t he? Like, when did he become SEVEN FEET of GOOEY GOLDEN GOODNESS? That boy is only going to get better with age (before he gets really funny looking in old age).
1. Hot Polish daddy Pawel Pawlikowski – WOOF. The hottest guy of the evening, HANDS DOWN. Pawel is DEFINITELY husband material.