Trailer Park

This week has been a little nutty and I’m just now getting around to watching the Dark Knight and Hobbit trailers. The Dark Knight looks spectacular. Yes, Bane needs to be dubbed ASAP, and I vaguely think the addition of Marion Cotillard to the cast is superfluous and might just one element too many, but I love Selena Kyle representing the 99% – that rings true for her character and feels timely – and of course the football field scene looks brilliant. I’m excited. The Hobbit? Not so much. I hate to reduce everything to BOYLUST, but part of the appeal of Lord of the Rings was the luminous and otherworldly beauty that Elijah Wood exuded. Not a day passes on Tumblr when faggots aren’t RHAPSODIZING about the blue of his eyes or the love between Sam and Frodo or his expression in THIS scene or the way he smiled in THAT scene. And frankly, I just don’t think Martin Freeman has that same appeal. DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. Sex sells. You need to fall in love with the leading characters in order for your movie to work. I argue this all the time. I remember last year when Universal tried to reboot the Wolfman movie. I took one look at the cast (Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins) and said “flop.” You cannot have a werewolf movie in 2011 with ugly werewolves. And I was right. Now I’m saying the same thing about The Hobbit. You can’t have a Middle Earth with ugly hobbits. Mark my words people. This movie will not inspire the same passion. The fanboys will go nuts, but the girls and gays will stay away. Feel free to argue with me in the comments, and tell me which one you’re more excited to see.

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