Last night’s Paula Abdul-Corey Clark real-life drama on ABC was satisfying and substantial. Voice mail! Telephone bills! Fred Segal receipts! All that and Cory’s total recall of the floor plan of Paula’s house, including the guest bedroom where they slept, has made us believers. “Paulatics”! Meanwhile, here are some Paula tics – outtakes from her she-didn’t-know-then-they’d-be-happier days hosting VH1′s 100 Greatest Dance Songs special put together by WOW in 2000. (Watch the clip) Oh, and Fenton Bailey has a theory about Paula and Corey :
OK, so here’s my theory: Paula is a sperm bandit whose mission is to sleep with as many American idols as possible and then steal their sperm. The melodic jizz is being combined with Paula’s musically challenged eggs to rear a whole army of future idols. She’s the in vitro version of Frank Perdue; it takes a tough woman to make a musical chicken.