Bill Maher On Kim Kardashian Look-Alike Fail

rs_600x780-140714143522-Bsb23tOIUAAOhl9

"The woman in England who spent $30,000 on plastic surgery to look like Kim Kardashian needs to spend a little MORE. At this point the only black celebrity she could make a sex tape with is Stevie Wonder." -Bill Maher ... See the Rest

New Rule: Bill Maher On Bear Blow Jobs

safe_image.php

"New Rule: The scientists who conducted a SIX YEAR study of two male brown bears found that one performed fellatio on the other multiple times per day, must admit that after the first year, they were just watching because they liked it. I'm no scientist but I think after watching bear blow jobs for a month or so, I'd be like, 'Yeah, they are ... See the Rest

Quote Unquote: Bill Maher

Taco-Bell-Breakfast-Waffle

"New Rule: Before Taco Bell starts serving breakfast, they have to answer one question: 'What did food ever do to YOU?' …you've taken something beautiful – ground up pieces of a pig corpse, curdled lactate secreted by a cow, and an ovum expelled from a chicken's ass – and turned it into something disgusting." -Bill Maher ... See the Rest

Quote Unquote: Bill Maher

tulips-9

"New Rule: Whatever country this photo was taken in, has to let me do acid there. I'm not even sure this is a country – I think it might be gay heaven." -Bill Maher, Real Time "New Rule: As the US is helping to train the army in Chad, let's start by toning down the choreography… unless you're a Rockette, this high-leg kicking business never ends ... See the Rest

New Rule: Bill Maher

the-accomodator-full

"New Rule: The makers of 'The Accommodator', the dildo that straps to your chin, have to explain how it's possible to make woman climax while she's laughing at you. This isn't sexy – it's a punishment at a fraternity. I know women are a mystery but I'm pretty sure none of their fantasies involve getting eaten by a prop comic. –Bill Maher, Real Time ... See the Rest

Quote Unquote: Bill Maher

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin ri

"New Rule: If Russia wants to be anti-gay, Vladimir Putin has to stop posing for dozens of beefcake pictures that look like the cover of every gay porn movie made in the last 30 years. Seriously, I don't even want these pictures on my computer, Vlad. Last time I went to Netflix it said, 'You liked the movie, Bare Chested Strong Man, you might also ... See the Rest

There Goes My Next Gig

russian-women-anna-sharevich-3a

Who knew that chess was such a sexy sport? New rules have been released and now a woman cannot have more than 2 of her shirt buttons unbuttoned and her skirt cannot be more than four inches above the knee. Why you ask? Apparently it disrupts spectators and it's just not part of the "image of chess." This hottie here is a chess Grand Master, ... See the Rest