A woman is in a museum, surrounded by world-famous paintings and sculptures, and yet instead of soaking up the beauty and culture, she’s excited because her Facebook app keeps her updated on a friend’s new haircut and allows her to receive messages from friends who want to go dancing later i.e THE IMPORTANT STUFF IN LIFE. Every time I see this commercial, it makes my blood boil. Put down the goddamn phone, woman, and live in the minute! Be a part of LIFE. Look at the fucking paintings and maybe learn something! It’s a MUSEUM. It’s ART. Perhaps the apogee of mankind’s achievement on this planet! And all you can think about is the selfie your friend took of her new haircut? You disgust me. This commercial disgusts me. It’s a terrible, terrible message to be sending out. #shakesfist #oldpeoplerants
Tag Archives: annoying commercials
James St. James
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James St. James
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The windy old gasbag yammers on about “honesty” and “fairness” and “doing the right thing” for Union Bank, which feels like Satan speaking through the preacher to me. And while I believe her heart is in the right place, when she says “alas,” I just want to SNAP. HER. NECK. The fact that she believes so deeply in her own piety DRIVES ME BERSERK. If you haven’t seen this commercial, I BEG OF YOU to watch it, and commiserate with me on the hypocrisy of Union Bank, the pretentiousness of Ms Angelou, and the EPIC FAIL of the advertising company who came up with this campaign.
James St. James
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For me, it’s a tie between that schizophrenic hobo who looked vaguely like Brad Pitt and somehow wandered onto the Chanel soundstage, spouting gobbledeegook to the camera and THE LIGHTS THE LIGHTS THE LIGHTS THAT LIGHT THE LIGHTS. I’m going with THE LIGHTS THE LIGHTS, though, because GOD, THAT WAS A TERRIBLE CONCEPT. I think even Kmart knows now what a horrific megaflop those commercials were, as they’ve disabled the embedding codes on YouTube for all of them, which is why I had to post a version off somebody’s phone. What do YOU think was the worst commercial of the year?
James St. James
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It’s a shame poor little Gael Garcia Bernal gets lumped in with Adrien Brody and André 3000 in that horrible, horrible Gillette Fusion ProGlide Styler commercial. He’s actually quite dreamy and it’s not his fault that Adrien is such a chode that you just want to punch that smirk off his face every time the camera cuts to him. And, my GOD, André just seems SO FULL OF HIMSELF, doesn’t he? YUCK. “Masters of style” MY GRANNY’S BUTTHOLE! Every time I see this commercial I say a little prayer thanking God I was born a homosexual and will never feel the need to “swagger” like that. And I can’t help but think that THIS is EXACTLY the reason why Adrien Brody’s career took a nosedive after he won the Oscar: Because he’s a giant douchenozzle and NO ONE can stand being around that smug Guy Fawkes-mask FACE of his.
James St. James
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Sign of the times: The economy is so bad that in the current Chevy commercials, Kris Kringle has had to get a second job at an auto dealership. In the second commercial for Alleve, he’s so beat down and pathetic he can barely make it through Christmas night without his drugs. Sucks to be him, huh? I sort of miss that jolly old elf of yore.
James St. James
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This Miu Miu ad featuring Haylee Steinfeld has been banned in England by the Advertising Standards Authority because it encourages kids to, I don’t know, lounge around on train tracks and pick at your eye. Sort of silly, I suppose, but then I have SUCH A PROBLEM with that Above the Influence commercial (below) where the boy says no to drugs but yes to hardcore parkour. Like that’s an acceptable alternative. “If you don’t do drugs, you can jump off buildings!” Kids today, amiright?
James St. James
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Did anyone else’s jaw hit the floor when Jennifer Lopez performed her freakin’ Fiat commercial during the AMAs? In a Kardashian-like move of money-grabbing chutzpah, an actual Fiat was unveiled on stage behind her, she got in and “drove” it in front of a green screen. Synergy has never been so crass. She should have just “driven” it to Kohl’s and outfitted her dancers in that crappy clothing line of hers while she was at it. Plugged two things at once. And don’t even get me started on those ridiculous Fiat commercials where she drives herself to the Bronx and acts like it’s the most normal thing in the world. J-Lo does not drive a white Fiat, she doesn’t think of the Bronx as her “playground,” and she doesn’t smile benevolently when poor people chase her car. I didn’t buy that Jenny-from-the-block crap 10 years ago, and I’m not buying it now. You know, I was sort of liking her after her American Idol stint, but now I’m getting irritated again. It’s like you give her a little of her early aughts fame back, and she slips right back into diva mode.
