Three drunken Marines who were caught performing sex acts on each other at a nightclub in Scotland will NOT get jail time for their shenanigans.
Police in Arbroath, Scotland say Luke Bowen, Jordan Coia and Ben James committed “puerile and repugnant” acts outside DeVitos nightclub near the Royal Marine base in Angus.
The police report reads like the nuttiest Jarhead fanfic you’ll ever read:
The [club] footage shows a former co-accused turning around and beginning to urinate. Luke Bowen then comes towards him, bends down with his head at the other man’s crotch and is seen to be drinking the urine. Luke Bowen then undoes his belt and begins to urinate then drinks his own urine.
Ben James then bends down and drinks Luke Bowen’s urine who then places his penis in James’s mouth. Jordan Coia then bends over and does the same. Craig Lynch then bends down and places Bowen’s penis in his mouth and Bowen then grabs his head and pushes it back and forward imitating a sex act. Bowen then pulls his trousers up just as the security guard is seen to enter the picture.
The trio plead guilty to charges of public indecency and will perform more than 200 ours of community service but will face no jail time and won’t be placed on the sex offenders registry, as the court agrees there was “no significant sexual element” to their actions.
No sexual element? I’m so turned on by that police report I’m VIBRATING, and they say NO SEXUAL ELEMENT?
Although the marines won’t be going to jail, they have been expelled from the military and, I’m sure, it seems as if they’re lives are ruined.
“He had hoped this would be a lifelong career but it has been brought to an end,” said Bowen’s attorney Lynne Sturrock. “He’s ashamed and embarrassed at this incident and his family and friends now are all aware of the circumstances of it.”