The 90th Academy Awards started out with an old timey intro with a voice over by host, Jimmy Kimmel.
“Look it’s Armie Hammer. Armie was born when a witch put a curse on a Ken doll…”
He then kicked off his Oscar monologue by joking about last year’s epic best picture mix-up, when La La Land was briefly awarded the prize instead of the real winner, Moonlight.
“This year, when you hear your name called, don’t get up right away. Just give us a minute.”
Then he crashed right into more controversial topics…
“I remember a time when the major studios didn’t believe a woman or a minority could open a superhero movie — and the reason I remember that time was because it was March of last year.
Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million to re-shoot his scenes [in ‘All the Money in the World’] while Michelle Williams for the reshoots got per diem — she was paid $80 a day for the same thing. And what made it especially unfair is that Mark and Michelle are represented by the same agency. And I have to admit, this story really surprised me. This one shook me, because if we can’t trust agents — who can we trust?
A film that’s up for 13 Oscars is ‘The Shape of Water,’ written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, a wonderful man … and thanks to Guillermo, we will always remember this year as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.
The academy, as you are no doubt aware, took action last year to expel Harvey Weinstein from their ranks. There were a lot of great nominees, but Harvey deserved it the most.”
You know the only other person to be expelled from the academy, ever, was a character actor named Carmine Caridi — in 2004, he was kicked out for sharing screeners. Carmine Caridi got the same punishment as Harvey Weinstein for giving his neighbor a copy of ‘Seabiscuit’ on VHS.”
But what happened with Harvey, and what’s happening all over, was long overdue. We can’t let bad behavior slide anymore. The world is watching us. We need to set an example. And the truth is, if we are successful here, if we can work together to stop sexual harassment in the workplace, if we can do that, women will only have to deal with harassment all the time at every other place they go.
Jordan Peele is only the third person in 90 years to be nominated for directing, writing and best picture for his debut film. And what a debut it was. None other than President Trump called ‘Get Out’ the best first three-quarters of a movie this year.
Out of the nine best picture nominees, only two made more than $100 million. That’s not the point. We don’t make films like ‘Call Me By Your Name’ for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.”
And he urged winners to say whatever they like but to be brief with their acceptance speech. The shortest one wins an $18,000 jet ski, with Let’s Make a Deal-style modeling by Dame Helen Mirren.
(Photo, screen grab; via Washington Post)